I guess you had to be there...

This week 'the Drudge' topped himself. After what seemed like an improbably high number of ridiculous headlines and stories, I've decided to compile some of the worst (best?) here. Enjoy.

Man hits his own car, then sues himself.

Flying cow leaves two police cars in flames.

Man severs own penis, throws it at police.

Another story was headlined, "Drug trial victim is like Elephant Man, says girlfriend," but the story isnt as funny, so I refuse to link it.

Update

Bahrain started the year off right.

Sunday saw a revived Ferrari start the race with both cars on the front row, with Alonso's Renault in 3rd. However, Massa was unable to block Alonso for the whole race. This has been Ferrari's preferred strategy over the years, because it allows Schumacher to put in the fast laps unpressured. Alonso put a good pass on Massa early on, iirc, and Massa proceeded to lock his brakes and flat spot his tires, pushing him way down the order.

Alonso caught up to Schumacher, and due to his team's incredibly fast work on the last pit stop, he was able to come out from the pits ahead of Schumacher, and go on for the win.

This weekend demonstrated that not three, not four, but five teams are all in contention for the two championships. Aside from Ferrari and Renault, Honda did not do well, but this was primarily due to technical glitches. The next race at Malaysia requires good aero design, which is apparently Honda's strength, so we will know on Sunday how much homework they did over the winter.

McLaren almost had a disaster weekend. Raikonnen's car in Saturday qualifying suffered a spectacular suspension failure, catapulting his car across the track. As a result, he started from last place, in 22nd position. However, with one of the weakest engines on the grid and a single stop strategy, he made third place, to the astonishment of just about everyone.

The fifth team is probably the biggest story of the early season. Williams Cosworth, who lost engine supplier BMW (one of the most powerful V10's) over the break, showed ridiculous speed at Bahrain. Webber got into the points, as did rookie Nico Rosberg (son of Keke Rosberg). Moreover, Rosberg hammered out the fastest laps of the race, and would have got the podium if not for a first lap collision. Webber also got 4th fastest lap.

If you missed the action, it's worth finding a rerun. Or you can get the bare results at
http://www.visionf1.com/
which is pretty cool.

Sunday, Sepang, 1:00AM east coast, Speed Channel, Friday thru Sunday.

Me, I got tests all this week.

Update and Preview for Bahrain

Went home for the break. The California Pizza Kitchen at the Mirage has some pretty good food. But I got sick near the end of the week, and found out that flying while sick is not fun. If you find yourself in that situation, I recommend gum, as the inability to equalize pressure between your eustachian tube and outer ear (popping your ears) means that you will feel like your head is slowly being crushed by cruel, cruel fate.

Anyway, the Gulf Air Grand Prix at Bahrain, the first race of the year, will start at 6:00 AM EST next Sunday. Speed Channel will carry it live. If you find yourself bored and awake at these times on Friday and Saturday, Speed will also show the Practice and Qualifying sessions at those times, respectively.

As pre-season testing wraps up, it is interesting that no one has been predicted to be a clear favorite in the F1 media. Four teams actually share the presumptive lead, Renault, Ferrari, McLaren, and Honda. Honda is up there because, although they had a mediocre season in 2005, they have put in an astonishing number of hours in the preseason tests, which I suspect is the best indicator of early and midseason performance.

Saturday Qualifying should be a good show, if you're awake that early, since this year the format has changed. Instead of two sessions for the weekend with an average time determining race grid position, it is now a 'knockout' formula, all on Saturday.

So in the first session, all 22 cars go out for fifteen minutes on low fuel, trying to make a best time. After this first session, the bottom 6 cars will be ranked and be given their corresponding race slot. The second session will be similar, with the next 6 slowest given their grid position.

The third and final session will be 20 minutes, and will feature the fastest 10 cars battling for the top slot, called pole position. However, they will do this on their race fuel load, meaning they cannot refuel between Qualifying 3 and the race start, except for a small amount corresponding to the qualifying laps.

I think the main idea behind the new format is to confuse everyone, while still providing a good show. The primary FIA administrator apparently still does not understand the format. But the lead positions will likely swap places many times during each session, so the uncertainty will be interesting. Hopefully, some drivers will get dirty, leading to interesting tactics like blocking or drafting. During such a high pressure situation, crashes could lead to fights, which equals ratings!

I'm actually pretty excited about drafting, if it occurs. This is just hypothetical, but inter-team cooperation is not overtly allowed in F1, but there may be situations in which both teams can benefit. This new qualifying format will allow cooperation, since multiple cars will be allowed on the field. Anyway, I should wait and see.

One last F1 note. I've recently noticed Michael Schumacher's blog posts on Planet-F1. It might be the translation or perhaps his ESL status, but his writing seems remarkably child-like, yet at the same time humorous. His favorite words seem to be donkey, monkey, and toilet-seat face. He also refers to himself as "The Schum." Awesome. Some German humor at the end.

EDIT: I've read several more of the 'Schumacher diary,' and now I suspect that it is actually a parody. I've been confused because there is no disclaimer, no small print, etc. which I would expect if it were US media. It's still funny though.